rockin out

So like I was saying, having an ileostomy bag is only as limiting as you let it be. I mean you can really do anything, but sometimes it will cause you to get shit all over yourself underneath your shirt. Recently my bags and sticker have been lasting for about 4 days, but I think instead of blaming that on the company, it's more been that I've been going to shows and playing drums and jumping around on people and stuff.

I played a show in Philly the other day, about a little over an hour away from home. This set was hot and sweaty as most of them are, but I recall saying into the mic in between songs :

"The only thing worse than playing in this heat is playing in this heat with a bag of shit strapped to your body."

It was pretty hot and I was pretty sweaty. After our set I stood up and was wondering why I was sweating in such an awkward pattern on my shirt. I stood up and realized that this sweat did not really smell like your regular sweat, I lifted my shirt and found shit smeared all over my stomach like you would only see on some exclusive websites. So of course I do what any musician covered in shit after a performance would do, I put it off to the side and packed up all of my drums and loaded them into a car. Out in the back in the trunk we found a shitty band's t-shirt. So I took off my moist shirt and put theirs on. I went into the bathroom and wiped myself down with a bunch of paper towels and then stuffed some toilet paper underneath my ostomy belt.


You can see the wet poop stains on the belt in that picture. It seeped through the belt and onto my shirt.

After I stuffed my belt and put a shirt on a put a hoodie on so I didn't look like I had a huge bulge underneath my shirt. I still had some wet poop on me and it was still leaking...once the wafer is off and poop has come out from underneath it's pretty hard to get it to stick since there is still poop on your skin. Of course, the longer shit would be on me the more irritated my skin would get. So I did what any avid music listener at a show covered in shit would do...I stayed for the 2 bands I wanted to see and then we left...there were only 3 left, but we don't really like the last band anyway so whatever.

We said bye to our friends from out of state and left for home. On the way home we stopped at Burger King, well because we were hungry. Eating food with a leaking ostomy bag isn't really the greatest idea, but it takes a few hours for everything to go through anyway. So we ate in the burger king and then got home like fifteen minutes later. So this was probably a total of two and a half hours of being semi-covered in shit. I got home, went into the bathroom and took a pic.



I threw my belt in the sink and soaked it in water, ripped whatever was still sticking on my bag and wafer off, put it in a plastic bag, and jumped in the shower. I stayed in the shower for a while, because I like taking long showers, especially because I don't really shower every day anymore. Then I went into my bed and started changing my stuff, which burned more than usual because I irritated a lot of skin. If you look right between my stoma and my hand youll see a lot of puffy irritated red skin. It itched a lot, and of course applying anything that contained alcohol onto it fucking burned so bad. I think I actually took this picture before I jumped in the shower which explains why there's still shit on around the base of my stoma.

Whatever, even if it's a fucking awful burning pain, it goes away in like 5 minutes. Temporary awful stinging pain seems to not be as bad when you realize it will be gone eventually, even though during those five minutes I was probably saying "fuck " a lot and punching my wall hard.

I go out for a little after and try to find somewhere smoke weed. Call it my vice, call me weak or dependent, I could really care less. Eat/drink my shit. I could certainly go through this all without smoking, but why should I? I'd rather go through it a little more relaxed and hungrier.

Anyway, we actually end up NOT smoking that night, and I just got to hang out with my friends a little which is just as good of a pick-me up.

Fast forward a few days and we are playing another show with out of state friends (myspace.com/abillionernies and www.myspace.com/wearetheunion. also check out communityrecords.org, awesome people, and i'm in a tour video explaining the bag!). Fun show, someone yelled at me for taking a shit in the girls bathroom, but I was very full and the boys bathroom was occupied, plus I made sure no girls were in there and had someone guard the door. I tried to be extra careful at this show because I didn't want to get shit on me, but it was really no help. After we played I packed and checked and the bottom corner of my wafer had lifted off of me a little. Whatever, I stuff myself with some more toilet paper, stay for the last two bands, go home, shower, change my stuff (in a record time of like fifteen minutes) and go out to grease trucks with my friends. Here's a pic of right before I change my stuff. Def not as bad as the time before, you can't really see the leaking from the bottom corner, but you can obviously see it got on the toilet paper haha. Notice how well I hide my dick in this picture, because I think I am completely naked. That took a few takes haha.


We ended up parking by the infamous house and are still in awe about how well that shit has stuck to the door and paneling of this house. One day there will be repurcussions for that I am sure, but until then, and even once that happens, that shit was still fucking awesome.

I went to a show last night in Long Island and saw our friends in The Tomahawk Chop play an awesome show. They just put out an awesome EP that I have been listening to on a loop the whole time I've been writing this. So if you're reading this you should probably listen to them (www.myspace.com/thetomahawkchop) and thank them for making awesome music because it made me stop being lazy and write this post.

Can't wait to do some weekend touring and be stuck in Georgia covered in shit! Jk, I'm probably gonna bring some extra supplies with me haha.