Monday, April 14, 2014

B12 Deficiency via Empty Ball Sack

if you're easily offended/repulsed stop reading because this shit is going to get mildly weird and sexual.

    I wish I had the science to back up any of this idea or else there's not much weight to it.  But as a well-experienced hypochondriac I can say that not enough research has been done on this idea because I have done many-a-google searches at random hours of the night to try and crack the code of what is fucking wrong with my body.  Here's a little expose to get you acclimated to my story:

1.  Kid stays inside for a good amount of his childhood.
            Don't get me wrong I did go outside too, but usually just to eat buffalo chicken pizza.  Especially from 13-17, a lot of my time was spent sitting in the basement writing music/jerking off.  Not exposed to sunlight (Vitamin D deficiency, linked to immune system, which is linked to pretty much all disease).

2.  The B-12 Link
 (Idiot disclaimer:  Any medial statement that begins with 'dude' and ends with 'shit' should be taken with a grain of salt)
      This more clicked in my head the one day when I was at a house party.  My friend Brian was talking to me about banging some chick:
   "Yeah dude, I took a bunch of vitamin b-12 to make my dick hard.  Shit worked.    
                UC and Crohn's are both linked to a B-12 deficiency, and I've been getting weak boners for a while.  Sometimes it was just from beating my dick 3 times a day but more recently it's just been all the time.  This is sort of disappointing because I thought staying mostly alcohol-free would keep my dick in tip-top performance shape.  But it is definitely over-exerted.  Vitamin B-12 has a direct relation with you small intestine, and a lack of B-12 can result in constipation (which is something I've been suffering recently).  Zinc also has a link to testosterone and digestion.  Oysters make you horny.
     There were a couple of times where I took some 5 hour sex energy (somewhere around 500% b12 in liquid form) and I weirdly noticed I was having better bowel movements.  You can easily say I'm making stuff up, or just chalk this up as a weird coincidence; but you come to realize a lot of the intricacies of your body when your neglect brings you to a point of almost irreversible health.  Doctors said I was 24 hours away from being super infected with sepsis, and if I made it out of that alive chances are I would be on dialysis for the rest of my life.  The infection was coming from a perforated bowel causing my body filling up with my own shit.
That's right, I was becoming full of shit.  Do you still believe what I'm telling you?

   So as a former chronic masturbator (who am I kidding), and a current day pervert, I wonder if me busting a nut too much is causing some of my tummy problems?  I know B12 and Iron are stressed a lot for IBD.  I did go to get an iron infusion once and the nurses had to stop halfway through because I was breaking it in hives and my throat was getting itchy.  Also I remember my face turning red, getting a headache, and becoming really nauseous.
    These days I just resort to juicing beets for my iron intake, but I've been slacking as of late.  It's hard to stick to a plan on the days where you still feel like shit.  I posted a tasty recipe for a green juice in a blog I wrote 3 years ago.  Here's a more current idea of something I drink on the days where I feel like death.

I'm naming it Maximum Piss and Vinegar, after one of my favorite songs.

1 beet, peeled
4 stalks of celery or 1 cucumber
5-7 Cloves of Garlic (the worst)
MUCHO ginger
3Tbsp apple Cider Vinegar


So the strange thing is, I legitmately feel BETTER after I drink that shitty drink.  My breath will literally stink up an entire van with garlic, but I will legitimately feel better.  Usually I have a very hard time passing gas (small squeaks, never relieves much of the bloating I deal with).  Whenever I have this drink I am able to unleash stink bombs with much more ease which is always relieving.

I have this weird mucuous issue where I'm constantly coughing it up.  It could be chalked up to a lot of things.  I'll get into that in a different post just so this isn't super complicated.  But I still am curious if draining the goose too often overall has a negative impact on my physical and mental health.

*Of course I'm not saying this is how everyone's body chemistry works.  Shit, I'm not even saying this is definitely how MY body chemistry works.  These are just ideas I've sat on for a while and wanted to get out somewhere.  I will still say that science in a lot of ways can be bullshit in the sense of definition.  Everything may be comprised of atoms, what if there is some unrecognizable matter that we can't comprehend?  Don't get me wrong, science has done great things.  But sometimes you need to take a step back to keep moving forward.  Whenever the industry stops treating symptoms and addressing the causes of disease I will feel much better. Big picture,v big picture.

 So my real question is, is there any kind of link between sexual health and vitamin B-12?  Am I just batshit crazy and is it really just paranoia that's making my stomach eat itself inside out?  IS the paranoia caused by a B-12 deficiency?  The questions don't stop.  There's not a lot of negative research on cumming too much besides that it will leave you in a cloudy-minded daze for most of the day.  Can this lack of focus be due to low testosterone levels?  Is that why people who aren't productive called "jerk-offs"?  (entry 1, #3).

Or maybe it's just staying up til 4AM writing conspiracy theories about my own health that's making me feel like shit.