Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hollow Weiner

I was an aerobics instructor, which is a little ironic because I was having a pretty hard time starting to exercise hahaha. I've gotten a little better at it now though, once you get into the swing of things it just becomes routine.

I had stomach cramps a few weeks ago but it was pretty much due to my seatbelt breaking after I bottomed out and somehow made the tension on it way too tight. It already went away even though fucking Honda lied to me and said they would call me tuesday once they got the part in. It is now Sunday and they still haven't fucking called me.

The first thing you think when you shit your pants is never really "Oh man I really have to go get my camera now and take a picture this looks sick". I used to have that mindset when I was in the hospital all the time and had the camera right next to my bed, but now that I'm out, I had to make a judgement call if waddling to my bedroom with my shitty underwear around my ankles was worth it. Unfortunately I made the better call and just took care of the situation, even though I looked at it after and saw like egg chunks in my underwear it was sick.

This "first instinct" rule also applies to when you go to wipe your ass and check to see what shade of brown your shit is that day, and you see a completely undigested blueberry on the toilet paper from the blueberry bagel you ate earlier that day. You don't really think "OH MAN PHOTO OP" you're kinda just like "aw man, thats fucking sick". It didn't really taste like a blueberry the second time around either, idk it still def looked like one though.

Kinda reminds me of when I used to eat clams with my ostomy bag and then I would just spew out chewed shit-soaked-soggy clams from my stoma. I def wish I could have filmed that when it happened, which was whenever I ate clams haha. Sometimes I would have to like kinda pull them out with toilet paper it was gross. I also remember eating buffalo wings and them giving me spewing volcano stream poop squirts, that was also pretty sick.

I shaved my beard, which automatically makes everything I say/do less creepy and more young and innocent, look :

Marley thinks he's a fucking cat just in case you never met him.

I have a very attractive sexy-appealing video in the works I'll try and post it by the end of this week!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


It's really fucking cold out it sucks a lot. I'm not even chalking up the being cold to iron deficiency, it is just fucking cold out plain and simple haha. A big factor may be that I'm still wearing only zip up hoodies and will probably continue to do so until like december. Maybe not if it continues to be this bad though.

I saw my GI doctor a few weeks ago and he said I'm doing wonderful. Obviously I guess, I really don't like giving that guy too much credit. All he did was put me on medicine AFTER all of the disease was cut out. So if I feel good now I really don't think the 50mg of 6MP is keeping me in remission especially since everything was just cut out. I probably say this every time I talk about my doctor but it still remains to be true. I mentioned to him how in like a year or two I would like to no longer be on 6MP and he called it "a gamble" if I'm willing to do it. He wants to go back in for a colonoscopy in like 6 months to check everything out. I feel like whether it looks good or bad he's going to want to keep me on the drug. If it's good he'll be like "blah blah I'm doctor the medicine is working!" If it looks a little rough he'll be like "We must up the dosage!" Fuck man.

I really haven't had much cramping, and the few stomach cramps I did have were either poop cramps or marijuana withdrawals. My scar tissue started getting hard again after smoking so I asked my regular doctor just to confirm it and he said I definitely shouldn't be smoking because it's never good for scar tissue. So instead of biting the bullet and being a bigger person or whatever, I'd like to introduce...

A fucking vaporizer! Sick, what a nice, expensive, incriminating piece of marijuana related paraphernalia for me to keep in my room! Even better, to post on the internet! Sick dicks. I just took that picture, the preheating light is on, but it should be done by now brb.


Word. And for the record that little doodly above only took like five seconds to do, I play drums remember?

So anyway I stopped smoking before for like 2 weeks because I can exhibit at least some self control. I mean besides like once or twice, but thats a big difference from the 1-3 times a day tip I was on. And I noticed that when I stopped the the tightness over there eased up, as well as the deadly farting. One of those two times I smoked I shit my pants...or sharted in the car, I guess it really wasn't that serious. But it was definitely fucking there hahaha. I just pulled my underwear down a little and pulled my pants up for the ride home. Ew ew ew.

Someone told me to watch out for mercury poisoning. Fuck you haha. But here are the symptoms of mercury poisoning so I can be on the lookout for getting fucking mercury poisoned.

Symptoms of Mercury Poisoning
By the Environmental Protection Agency
  • Impairment of the peripheral vision
  • Disturbances in sensations ("pins and needles" feelings, numbness) usually in the hands feet and sometimes around the mouth
  • Lack of coordination of movements, such as writing
  • Impairment of speech, hearing, walking;
  • Muscle weakness
  • Skin rashes
  • Mood swing
  • Memory loss
  • Mental disturbance
Hahaha what the fuck most people of most of those symptoms at least two of them anyway. I seriously think I have at least 9 but I've always had them. I just am not the strongest person, who played video games his whole childhood and didn't develop any coordination skills and moves awkwardly, who has allergies and skin rashes, and has developed a great short-term memory. PLUS I AM FUCKING GOTHIC AND MENTALLY DISTURBED \M/ \M/

No but seriously for a few months my youtube "recommended" videos were videos of puppies and dogs, and mall-metal music videos.

I am in school still and am doing okay mom. Semi-okay at least haha, but I wi
ll probably just turn it arou
nd at the end...that's what I usually do every year. I'm all about putting things off to the last minute ju
st in case you haven't noticed by how frequent these posts are. But usually somehow I tend to do things more when I am smoking, or "vaporizing". I
'll make myself do something constructive, usually the dishes or clean, but sometimes it's as simple as eating one Activia Yogurt (Mmm!) I totally just took this picture off of someone else's blog by the way, but really I just googled "activia" or "YO
GURT TITS" and this came up. Today I'll probably just eat a yogurt, it's way too cold in my room to do
anything else if that ma
kes sense. Even though I think we are playing music in an hour but playing if anything will heat me up. Hawt drummerz tayke ther shirts off. Hairy drummers leave theirs on. I just accidentally underlined the top and I have no idea how it happened, I guess I will keep it for emphasis.

Diarrhea is turning more into poop now that I'm not all swollen on my scar tissue. Certainly a go
od thing! I read a line that smoking clogs your arteries and puts all plaque in there so that scared me enough to make me stop. Vaporizing is not smoking btw, it's science bro.

Next Thursday I am playing in a basement in New Brunswick and next Friday I am playing in a basement in New Brunswick. If I don't die from asbestos poisoning then I will write something else soon.