Saturday, March 1, 2014

My shit this week has mostly looked like this

     Bloody angel hair pasta.  The blood in this picture is an over exaggeration, but I could always go for some tasty-imagery.   If I ate this whole plate right now I would probably shit a pint of brown water three times a day for two weeks.
    I had a three week fling with pizza and alcohol in 2014.  It was mostly a bad idea and I'm realizing that now.  It's easy to tune out the common sense thing when you get a nice looking pizza staring you in the face.  Anyway, I think I have diverticulitis...more importantly I think I have a pressing case of hypochondria.  It's so easy to google your symptoms and think you've got everything figured it out.  I've resolved to the fact that I know what's wrong but I just don't choose to fix it, cause it's so gosh damn hard to!
    I'm a pretty shitty adult, so if I don't remember to go grocery shopping I'll most likely eat twix bars and cookies for breakfast out of a vending machine at school.  I do eat healthy too sometimes, but few and far in between.  And even the days that I do juice or eat well I'm always sure to get a nice snackeroo in there too.
    At this point it would be too optimistic to write here: "I'm gonna turn this all around!"  I've had the same shitty habits for most of my life and while I can turn them around for certain points of my life I'll still fall back into them whenever I'm stressed.  #emotional_eating.
    Snacks don't last more than 3 days in my cabinet.  I'm a Certified Junk Food Junkie.  It doesn't help that the medicine I take is a brownie haha.  My doctor didn't prescribe it but my girl Betty Crocker hooked me up.  Really on the weeks that I was eating right I felt much better than I do right now.  I haven't really been trying too hard as I've been on the go most of the time.  It's a pretty bad excuse since health should come first, but I mean my symptoms are mostly still manageable.  Going to the bathroom a few times a day and feeling like you can't shit isn't as severe as where I was this time 5 years ago.
    On the upside, I just ordered some of this stuff:

     I've developed some pretty weirds habits in the past two years.  One of them has been keeping ginger tea in my back pocket and carrying around with a refillable mug.  Crazy enough it was actually helping me out a lot, especially on the days I would have 4 or 5 mugs (recommended limit is 3 times but I was born to break rulez).  THIS STUFF ^ is some crazy tea I found on tour last winter.  I've never seen it in NJ, but it was only like three bucks.  I have no idea where I found it originally but I just ordered a few boxes online.  Lemon ginger and probiotics did my body good.   That tour was a trip that I considered not doing a week before because I hadn't been feeling too great.  This brand of tea, and bringer my trusty juicer on tour really helped me out.  
     So at this rate I've been having like 1 or 2 normal bowel movements a week if I'm lucky.  I'm not in too much pain really but I've been noticing some blood in my stool.  Today I coughed up some blood in my mucous too.  I've been having some mucous in my stool as well which is definitely not a good sign.       Since I last really updated this thing I've had a bunch of conspiracy theories about why my stomach acts up.  It could all be summed up to one general idea:  Not being healthy.  I was on an "I have candida" kick, which I still am kind of on.  Also thought I had diverticulitis, internal hemmorhoids, and colon cancer.  I convinced myself that I had every major bowel disease, and it kept me up a lot of nights.  Still it definitely kept me up some nights.
    After jumping from disease to disease for a few years, I eventually gave up and said: "Fuck it."  I wasn't helping anything by just reading about all of the shit I could have.  I went to a new doctor, got bloodwork and scopes done, and apparently everything at that point in time was fine.  I was just so crazy about being sick that I rarely ate; my shitty, fiber-less diet made going to the bathroom impossible.
   So now I'm back at square one.  But now, I'm going to try to not go after one thing in particular and just be healthy.  A lot of bowel diseases involve inflammation and infection in your bowels.  To focus on one issue alone kind of just goes after symptoms and I think the human body is a little more complicated then that.  Still, I bet if I followed what most sources suggest and didn't eat donuts for dinner I'd be feeling a lot better.

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