home

I'm home from my weekend of eating pop-tarts and junk food and sleeping in the back of a car!  It went alright health wise, except for our show on Sunday.  That afternoon I remember eating like 4 pop-tarts and eating at least ten handfuls of cheese goldfish crackers.  The two things the doctors always stressed after this reversal surgery were to always chew your food very very well, and to eat small portioned meals, about like six a day.  The chewing thing is actually way difficult to do, it's hard to make food get to the point of liquid mush without swallowing it, especially if you're used to swallowing it only after a few bites.  Unfortunately I still haven't mastered the chewing many times thing without swallowing...BUT I have mastered the "regurgitate your food like a fucking bird and chew it a few more times" method.  It feels very gross, but I'm sure it helps me digest a little more.  Another tip the doctor's always tell you to keep things moving in your bowels is to drink lots of fluids to keep things moving, even if it makes you pee a bunch it's better than not pooping.  

So obviously the gorging myself with shitty junk food thing was not a good idea.  Especially since I barely drank anything afterwards.  The one thing I did drink a few hours later moments before our set on Sunday was a tiny can of Red Bull.  I usually drink one because they help me not get extremely fatigued during our set.  They aren't your greatest thing for your stomach though, and they are lightly carbonated.  Needless to say, after our set I fucking puked outside:

A combination of the food and the drink and the extreme heat and physical exhaustion probably caused this to happen.  Of course I panicked and though I was blocked or something especially because I felt some gurgling in my stomach.  I just drank shit-ton of water though and to my relief I began farting a bunch.  These farts were fucking RANCID.  Like so so so bad.  I had them for about 12 hours before I any poop came out, and they were very frequent...they also smelled like fermented shit and garbage, like they were sitting there forever and couldn't get out.  Once we got back in NJ and I got to sit on my good ol' toilet I took a serious dump.  Even when I've taken bigger shits they've been really soft, which I guess is cool I could really care what my shit is like.  It's def easier on my butthole compared to like harder things coming out of my ass, or INTO my ass zing zing zing.  My dad's older friend who has Crohn's told my dad that after a bowel resection and ostomy reversal your shit will pretty much come out like soft serve ice cream, whatever I'm down.  

Speaking of ice cream, I should really start eating some.  I'm somehow down to fucking weighing 135 pounds again.  I am six feet tall, this is definitely a problem.   As much as I like being a little thinner I think that's a little too serious.  I don't even wanna know what my fucking blood count looks like, I'm sure I'm pretty malnourished or something is wrong.  I've been eating pretty right but for me to be losing a few pounds is probably bad news.  This is me being an idiot vegetarian who is just like "omg no meat" but doesn't even bother to fucking configure a healthy diet.  There is definitely some irony in a moralist vegetarian who chooses not to eat meat but can't even take care of their own human bodies...at least I think it's ironic.  I actually started drinking those ensure vitamin shakes, I'm trying to have one at least once a day.  I had a bunch in my fridge and for some reason I haven't been drinking them which isn't a great idea.

My bowel movements have been anywhere from 2-6 a day.  If they are less frequent they are more solid and 6 bowel movements usually means that sometimes I just sat on the toilet and shot out some diarrhea.  I haven't really felt any cramping in my stomach which is a good feeling.  

I haven't smoked weed in like two weeks...maybe that's why I lost weight haha.  Need to get back on that munchies schedule, I mean I can surely do it without pot and probably well, I haven't really had the urge to smoke in a while...but probably in a few days or something, we'll see.  I've been kinda afraid of smoke agitating my scar tissue or something but I'll have to try again eventually just to know...or I could always get one of those sick vaporizer things!

Once I actually DO gain some weight, I'm planning on started to run and maybe do some exercising.  I'd like to feel as healthy and energized as possible.  I haven't been that sluggish but after working for a few hours I usually come home and take a nap. This is totally fine with me but I know I am out of shape and haven't been in shape for at least a few years so I might as well start now!