"holy fucking shit"

That's probably what most people think when they smell my farts.  That's usually what I think when they come out of me because they are fucking awful.  Like deathly awful clear the room for 5 whole minutes.  I wish there was some way I could upload the fucking smell on here but it would probably fry people's computers and shit.  

Usually I get serious farts when food isn't coming out of me right away...it's like it's just sitting there and slowly being digested/decomposed into atomic shitty gas bombs.  It's all about drinking liquids and flushin stuff out.  I chugged like 40oz of water after a meal and it gave me pretty instant water diarrhea.  Not to say it like pushed that food I just ate out that wouldn't make sense, but it certainly cleaned things up in my pipes.  I should just drink a fucking bunch of water all the time, or fruit juice or something.  I guess the goal is to shit a lot, but I thought that wasn't the goal a few weeks ago?  I remember my doctor being glad that I was constipated after the surgery because it's obviously better than shitting all the time.  But not pooping a lot results in the worst kind of farts I think I've ever brewed up in my colon.  

Most of those deadly farts feel like a highly pressured bomb until they come out.  Also when they come out it's really forcefully like it was stuck and built up and not all of it came out.  Even when I poop sometimes it comes out a little narrow like there's still some scar tissue causing some problems.  Of course if this is my biggest problem I guess I can't really be too upset.  And I'm not really that much, but if you caught a sniff of one of these things you would definitely think something is wrong.

I just kind of realized I might of taken two 6-mp today by accident and I am kinda freaking out.  Mostly (safety i just farted wow) because I am a little high right now, that's usually when I get in hypochondriac mode.  You know the typical heightened anxiousness and proneness to anxiety attacks?  It's in a book I'm sure.  But anyway, I was freaking out for a second even though it could barely throw me out of a wack especially if I only take two for one day.  But then I realized, my pill-pusher of a doctor (but that statistics are so true, it works!  just look at all these fucking cool graphs and percentages) was trying to put me on 100mg anyways eventually haha.  I only take 50 now, so I mean 100 is still a reasonable dose, and apparently an apt one too for good ol' Crohnsy me!  I still haven't called him after the surgery to schedule a follow up I probably should.  I don't know if he's really trying to raise the dosage now, I mean apparently I'm doing great or something.

So when I was at the doctor's last week the guy who gave me my B-12 shot said "oh man that was weird going through you, it felt like cutting steak!" hahaha.  Sometimes I think of the scene where I am asleep and my fucking guts are out on the table and the surgeon was cutting my intestines like they were some fine Italian delicacy.  Trust me there is some fucking crazy Italian delicacies that probably would even top that anyway though haha.  But seriously, someone just like ripping a surgical knife through my abdomen and then my insides is a fucking crazy thing to think about.  I like to look at my scar and imagine all that sometimes, it's like a crazy scene to imagine.  Some guy singin' his jovial hi ho' dum dee dum dum anthem at work fucking dicing me up.  Fucking SCIENCE bro.  My life is in that guys hand, or any of the people around him.

Some things I remember before my surgery and being put out:

1.  Me saying lightly "good luck" kinda laughing to my surgeon and his assistant saying "don't worry, we'll be fine, you don't have to wish us luck!"  and then my surgeon laughing and saying "No we'll take it!  It can't hurt"  This made me laugh and put me in a good mood.  

2.  Two guys trying to scrub all adhesive glue and gunk from a sticker/wafer/shit being on my skin for like five months.  

3.  Being shaved.

4.  My arms extended all the way out on both sides and I'm wearing one of those silly shower/surgery cap things.

5.  Being naked but then them covering up my genitals and feeling way better about that because I'm pretty sure it was fucking freezing.

6.  Being extremely glad this surgery was under way more relaxing circumstances.  I remember I was in so much pain before the emergency one that they had to help me from the hospital bed onto the big surgery bed and that it was so painful.  It was way easier to do without the ripped bowels this time.  

Crazy stuff.  Anyway, I've been eating so much fish that I actually checked which ones are high in mercury because I actually got a little worried haha.  I feel pretty good I've just been relaxing this weekend and enjoying what's left of my summer.  Even though I am extending my Summer mentality essentially until next June, where Summer will resume again.  Pending on if that all goes well I will probably do it for the rest of my life.